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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  February 10, 2024 8:00pm-9:00pm PST

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culture dictionary it is out now and for more on me i'm coming to a city near you on my everybody calm down tour tickets are on sale now and alas i've got to salute my staff a lot of people thought this show could not happen this week our executive producers on drinking in the dominican republic. normally when we go live he's drinking in the controller and the whole team did a phenomenal job this week they are all entitled to order whatever they want on me at chick-fil-a this sunday. good night from new york city i am jimmy failla i will see you next saturday and until then remember you can be a republican, you can be a democrat just don't be ♪ ♪ you for being with us. in the meantime, let not your heart be troubled. greg gutfeld. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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>> so wonderful! yes! i love you, too. happy wednesday, everyone. remember those stories you hear about a firefighter who sets a fire so he can ride in and save the day, but instead the house burns down? that reminds me of joe and the border. he torches the border and now we are supposed to trust the same guy who started this raging blaze to put it out. it's like believing o.j. when he said he was going to find his wife's killer. >> tyrus: he's still looking. >> greg: he is. do we give more matches and gas or look for someone with a fire extinction and a pulse? that's the question joe biden asked america yesterday during a speech that reminded me of winston churchill. primarily because winston churchill is also dead. >> all indications are this bill won't even move forward to the senate floor. why? a simple reason. donald trump. because donald trump thinks it's
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bad for him politically. he'd rather weaponize this issue and actually solve it. they said no because they're afraid of donald trump. afraid of donald trump. republicans have to decide who they serve. donald trump, or the american people? every day between now and november the american people are going to know the only reason the border is not secure is donald trump and his republican friends. we've got to move past this toxic politics. >> greg: [laughs] that is amazing! first of all, he asks, who do the republicans serve? this is the man wearing the ukrainian flag because they gave money to his kid. who do you serve? but the short term because of this posturing inevitably gave way to the reality hangover that was visible yesterday on the president's face. look at him, it's painful to watch. it's gotten to the point that now joe just barks "maga"
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whenever he can make a real argument. luckily for him it's only two syllables. even luckier, "trump" is only one. but it's his answer for everything. he's like a sex addict who only knows one position, and we are the ones getting screwed. but it seems something has finally dawned on him, that spiteful anti-trump tantrum he threw when he took office reversing roughly 90 border policies has now become the defining feature of his administration, and he has become a melting angry ice sculpture. and then there's homeless security director alejandro mayorkas. sorry, it's hard to give a thumbs up to a man who looks like a thumb. he has failed miserably to defend our borders, so in house of representatives, they voted tuesday evening to impeach him. it should have been wit figure skaters call a slam-dunk. but three republicans, these fellows right here on your screen, joined the dems in
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voting against what would have been the second ever impeachment of a sitting cabinet official. write down those names so you can vote against them, or at least sign them up on grindr. our audience doesn't know grindr. good for you. mike gallagher posted on x why he voted against impeachment. "creating a new lower standard from impeachment will set a dangerous new precedent that will be weaponized against future republicans' administrations. it will only further pry open the pandora's box of perpetual impeachment." you get this, people? those g.o.p. defectors didn't vote to impeach because it would lead to the dems doing it, as well. do we live in the twilight zone, sir gallagher? the dems already impeached trump not once, but twice. did we already forget that? is biden's dementia contagious? does maga now stand for "making
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alzheimer's grade again?" what an argument. we don't want to hit them because they'll hit us back. then why are you in the damn ring? you are fighting for us, remember? anyway, republicans say they will try their hand at impeaching mayorkas again, maybe in a few years when our southern border starts at nebraska. but like i told my assistant when she wanted a day off for her mother's funeral, don't hold your breath. but it's not really about mayorkas. it's about joe. we wouldn't had this crisis had biden not rescinded trump's border policies and left remain in mexico in place. he prefers his policy of remain in basement instead. the problem with yesterday is it ignored one unignorable's act. this disaster wasn't occurring under trump, and the republican house now is as weak as jerry nadler's sphincter. there's one thing they love to do, lose gracefully.
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but as they lose, so do we. cash-strapped local governments are now spending billions for the care and feeding of new arrivals with no work permits and limited job skills, and less respect for the law then ilhan omar on her wedding night. >> tyrus: damn. >> greg: i don't even know what that means. the video of two nypd cops assaulted by venezuelan thugs exposes the issues that dems had labeled racist just for bringing it up. migrant crime. so venezuela empties its prisons and we get a crime wave. what did you expect? they broke the laws in their own country and now they are free to roam in a bigger, richer country. it's like offering a free bucket of fried twinkies and being shocked that joy behar shows up. on the foreign policy front, biden has decided to link securing the border for funding for foreign wars. let me get this straight, russia is at war with ukraine, hamas terrorists slaughtered israeli citizens.
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oh, yeah, joe, it's hamas. >> there is some movement and i don't want to -- maybe i'll change my words. there is some movement there's been a response from the -- there's been a response from the opposition. but -- yes, i'm sorry. from hamas. >> greg: quick, somebody get smelling salts, and then put them in a little girl's hair. [laughter and applause] that's not good. that is so not good. at least he didn't say extreme maga republicans. it's hamas, you dumbass trade maybe eased up on the embalming fluid. it's not funny anymore, really. i feel bad saying that. this is terrible. but those wars mean america
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apparently doesn't get a southern border? if anybody can explain to me how this works, i promise to give you brian kilmeade's home phone number. he goes to bed at 8:30. these countries, they have sacred borders, but america's looks like walmart on black friday. of course the experts will say, look, man, you got to fight the bad guys over there so they don't come here. fine, i get that, but why not make it harder for them to get in here before they flee from the wars that we are fighting there? i know, i know. [applause] it makes too much sense, like muting your tv whenever jesse is on. the truth is, a border crisis is like luminol for the crime scene. it's detecting blood all over and his alibi is holding up about as well as the border itself. thanks to his incurable tds, he
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has managed to make our board as incontinent as he is. can he stop the flow at all? that will get the same old answer. depends. [laughter] welcome to night guests! he took a night off from banging your ex to be here tonight. comedian jeff dye. she is so bright, joe biden keeps walking towards her. campaign communications expert, erin perrine! [applause] she took ozempic and gained weight. "new york times" best-selling author and fox news contributor, kat timpf! [applause] and when he plays monopoly, he uses real houses. "new york times" best-selling author, comedian, and former n.w.a. world champion, tyrus! [applause] jeff, because you are an expert on immigration, i was going to ask you what your solution is, but then i watch to those clips
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again of joe biden, and i realized these are not gaffes anymore. this is just the status quo of his behavior. it's kind of scary. i don't even feel bad making jokes about it now. >> jeff: it's hard to make it funny. it really is. you watch and you go, this is embarrassing. that's the leader. like jfk, "we choose to go to the moon!" he's jacked up. you get hard watching that. you watch this and you go, this is what we're doing? it's very embarrassing. >> greg: very embarrassing. >> jeff: also, what is the plan? just don't talk about it? at least we have a position here. but you ask people, when you go to a country you should probably follow the rules. i can't just go to australia. and they go, "don't say that!" but these guys beat up a cop, but not even citizens, they go, whoa, whoa, racist. can we talk about it? that has to be some side. >> greg: the only side they are concerned with other people coming in. it's the most bizarre thing. the border has two sides, inside
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and out. if you bring up your concerns, you are a bigot. >> jeff: just by talking about it. that's pretty scary also and not very funny that we can't even talk about it without being like, "you are problematic." >> greg: what happened to your collar, by the way? >> jeff: is a special cut parade i was told it looks good. >> greg: jeff dye, hip doctor. "i was told you have cancer, but what are you doing later?" >> jeff: that the doctor i would be. >> greg: that is the doctor you would be! "we've only got three months to live, but two months to love." [laughter] erin, i apologize for that. do you think not impeaching mayorkas is a big deal? i guess life goes on. is this a big defeat? >> erin: it is not, because they'll be able to bring it up again. and i think the least surprising part of this is that it's taking a while to get things done in congress. that's the same song and dance. i worked on the hill for years.
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i haven't been there for a few years, but really not much has changed. the way we make the change here is we elect somebody else to the white house. the reason we are facing three and a half to four times more border crossings in a 2-year period under joe biden then we did under donald trump is because of joe biden. let alone the 90 executive actions that he took away from the trump administration purely because he said, "donald trump, that's a note from me." building the border wall, he stopped doing that. part of that border wall was also infrastructure in texas and he was like, good luck, everybody. it's only made the border worse. people want to see this end. you need a leader in the white house who is willing to take action to get it right, because it is clear between biden and mayorkas that no one is going to close the southern border of the united states. to be he would rather forgive student loans, and has done that. >> erin: and catch and release people in the united states. you enter the country illegally, you got a one-way ticket.
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he beat an nypd cop, you might make it to california. that is the tenets of their policy right now. the core of the policy is, i dunno. >> greg: i think i was caught off guard watching biden again. >> kat: i think we all know now why he's not doing the super bowl. i'm dead serious! if that is your audition tape, what gig could you get? >> tyrus: drunk grandpa? >> kat: it's only 3 minutes. there is no "only" and that 3 minutes. the super bowl is supposed to be fun, i hear. >> greg: that was grim. >> kat: he looks miserable! >> jeff: they wouldn't let you work at applebee's. >> greg: the thing is, why isn't that clip everywhere? i am pleading ignorance. that's the first time i saw it. >> kat: me, too! >> tyrus: i've seen it. >> kat: they all look the same period was crazy, i don't care what party you are from or what you believe.
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whenever you're watching joe biden speak, everyone watches him like this. >> greg: [laughs] >> kat: like, what's going to happen, you know? that's not how you should watch. if you're just heartbroken and scared the whole time. this isn't normal. none of this is normal. it's disturbing. he is so sad. like, he shouldn't have to do that. >> greg: at this point they need one of those big things that take him away. we owe george w. bush a big apology. we make that guy over the coals for saying "we'll me once" and losing his train of thought? every day, it is so normal to us now. "that's how he talks." >> tyrus: i thought he was just splitting the diff. he's got a ten minute speech, he can get it done in 3 minutes. i will say three or four things at the exact same time. which is a higher level of thinking. >> greg: that's true. >> tyrus: we don't get it. my bad, mr. president.
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i'll work on -- just the incident with the border patrol officers and their horses, his ass should have been out of there. this is on republicans. this is why we need term limits. they care more about getting reelected than doing the right thing. [applause] his lackadaisical effort with the border, with the way he treats the men and women who protect the border -- how about the mothers who came to congress and he didn't show up, because he was "in a meeting with mexico?" he should have brought their asses, too. but it goes back to the same thing. republicans are full of [bleep], and this proves it. they say they want change? if i know that being a leader and doing right thing in getting this man out of here who's failed, and there's no one who can argue he hasn't, means i might not get reelected, but i did my job for my people, fine. next man up. so be it.
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i did my part. [applause] this is more -- we always want to go at the left and say when they are doing this. this is more about us and the spineless people that supposedly are conservatives that know this man has cost money, has ruined lives. these people that couldn't leave their homes because everybody thought they were weeping black people. think about that. and you are serving for [bleep] pay and that's how you being treated. they didn't show up for the moms. and it was perfectly fine, border agents were letting people drown in the water. it didn't matter what horrible thing he said, but you didn't want them to come back at you? turn in your little pin and your tie and go home. [applause] >> greg: up next after advil: let's dive in! but...what about your back? it's fineeeeeeee! [splash] before advil: advil dual action fights pain two ways. advil targets pain at the source, acetaminophen blocks pain signals. advil dual action.
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♪ ♪ >> greg: their profits went up in smoke after embracing the woke, but now a number of super bowl commercials will apparently avoid speedy nonsense in an effort to sell their products, or at the very least to keep kid rock from shooting it. it turns out left wing hectoring in ads only further alienated consumers already impacted by biden's [bleep] economy. people don't need to be called oppressors when they can't afford eggs. instead, this year's brands are expected to lean into humor and noncontroversial celebrities, as opposed to unfunny hectoring lefties. guess it's not your year, kathy griffin. meanwhile, trump is extending an olive branch to bud light, posting, "the bud light ad was a mistake of epic proportions, and for that of a big price was paid. anheuser-busch is a great american brand that perhaps deserves a second chance." and even trans-republican
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caitlyn jenner joined trump in urging republicans to move forward from their boycott, and that takes balls. [laughter] but it's a fair question. does bud deserve a second chance? look, i'm a fan of second chances. i didn't fire my pool boy the first time he rejected my advances. put that in the clip real. but as tyrese pointed out, bud didn't just lose business, they also fired 350 employees in the aftermath of the mulvaney debacle. and there was a worse outcome for bud's once prized clydesdale horses. bad news for the horses. but great for the post-it notes business. >> jeff: that really happened. >> greg: on the one hand, you are very passionate about bud in the fact that they should rehire the people they fired. >> tyrus: do that first before you cut the checks. here's the thing, i'm all for second and third chances in some
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cases. if you show a change in behavior and you own your [bleep]. giving good young comedian's endorsements is great, but that's not the problem. 350 americans who showed up to work every day and bust their ass are out of work. that's what, two celebrity checks? we messed up, we are bringing our forces back and we will weather this storm. we will respect that. being part of the ufc and nfl, that's great. but the only way you stand up to this behavior is by changing behavior and saying we are not accepting this anymore, and we are going to fix the wrongs. a lot of people were canceled, a lot of people didn't have the resources to come back. in effect, the dylan mulvaney woman-face thing canceled 350 hardworking americans that don't have the ability to go on social media or tv talk shows to get their careers back. so fix that, bud light, and i'll be the first one to go out and
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buy a bud keg at my house and have a keg party. [applause] i'll be the first one. how about those 350 workers? and then talk about redemption. but just moving on and throwing money at people who already have it don't mean [bleep] to me personally. >> greg: kat, on the one hand i'm happy because i get the feeling wokism is dead. on the other hand, what will we talk about? this has been my bread and butter for ten years. >> kat: if you would have told me i'd spend this much time in idle life sitting around talking about bud light, as part of my job, i'd be like, no [bleep] w way. i think what you said really is at the heart of it, that people want to chill. they don't want to sit there and be told, least of all by people who are presumably doing better than they are financially, that they need to feel bad about the way they are living. people want to watch sports, and again, i was a football fan for one week between the lions
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winning in the lion's losing, and i experience a lot of joy in that week. it's supposed to be an escape from everything else. people just want to have fun. again, for me, i have not boycotted bud light. i don't drink -- i just really don't have time to drink, so i haven't been drinking. but i think it became that people didn't want to be asked questions, "why are you drinking that cannot" and it became this lightning rod of the thing. so they have to overcome that in order for something happen. >> greg: "hey, is that bud light? was wrong with you?" that's what they've got to deal with. a lot of lessons were learned, erin. the one thing they did is they listened to activists and influencers on social media who don't even buy their products. it was like an illusion. they are listening to people with the delusions, which created the illusion. >> erin: yeah, they took bad advice for people who aren't their target demographic, and even if they were trying to expand for more people, you
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don't have to spend millions of dollars and 30 seconds to have people hate your brand. you can do that in one tweet in two seconds and destroy your brand. they chosen to put money behind a message they were trying to sell in relation to a product that didn't match. that's what upset people and it cost 30% of their market share. it's going to take a lot for them to come back. yes, i love the clydesdale's commercial, i live a pert commercial with a puppy in it. you got me sold, i'm in on these commercials. that's not going to change what happened and how they got here and the total market loss they sustained. when you play stupid games, he would act stupid prizes, and that's what happened with them. they were inauthentic to their brand, and when you do that is when you're going to get in the most trouble as a brand. >> greg: jeff, are you a little dismayed that bud hadn't come to you to be a new spokesman? >> jeff: i have thought about that. i was like, good for him. but the second ol' jeff get sober, now alcohol companies don't want him! [laughter] if there's a nice coffee company that would like to, i'm
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available. but i think kat nailed it. i've been beating this drum for a long time that what i like about sports is just sports, or what i like about companies is just companies. i don't want to hear from millionaire athletes trying to lecture everyone about history they been going through and slavery while they are dripping in nike and blood diamonds. that's the most hypocritic hypocritical -- the left or right, you would have to agree that no one cares about corporations pretending to care about these social issues. it's the grossest thing to get an email that's like, "here at wells fargo, we stand with the women's march." you're like, what you? you are a bank. "come down to taco bell and get me too tacos for $0.99!" get out of here. gross. >> greg: i know why you're doing this. >> jeff: [laughs] me too taco. [laughter] >> erin: it took him a biden right there to get it.
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>> tyrus: taco, me too. >> greg: i still don't get it. >> tyrus: that explains the green room. >> greg: all right, we must move on. up next, gen zers' a good sign to stay wine. ♪everything i do that's for my health is an accomplishment.♪ ♪concerns of getting screened faded away♪ ♪to my astonishment.♪ ♪my doc gave me a script i got it done without a delay.♪ ♪i screened with cologuard and did it my way.♪ cologuard is a one-of-a-kind way to screen for colon cancer that's effective and non-invasive. it's for people 45 plus at average risk, not high risk. false positive and negative results may occur. ask your provider for cologuard. ♪i did it my way!♪
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gen z prefers to drink at home versus bars? it could be saving money. young professionals in the cities avoid huge bar tabs. instead of using my proven technique of pulling the fire alarm right before last call. but there's also gen zers who live in the 'burbs and stay put it to avoid driving. it's not like you and get pulled over in your race car bed. i still have one. sure you can hire an uber, but they get snippy if you've puked in their cars a few times. [laughter] there is also the notion that these young people are avoiding social interactions, preferring to stay in their solitude at home. after all, there's no line at the bathroom and everyone always knows your name, because you never leave. with fewer people choosing to drink in the bars, it could spell the end of the bars. but for someone like me, it's okay. as a well-known celebrity, bars just got exhausting. i was so tired of women coming up to me all the time and asking
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me to stop masturbating. [laughs] >> tyrus: i swear to god, if you go to me, i'll slap you. i need a minute to process. >> greg: kat, is drinking at home -- you were the first person to talk to me about drinking at home. the best thing is you can drink out of any kind of container. the whole idea of needing a glass for this and a glass for this, you need a mug, no. you can just drink wine out of the box. >> kat: what i said to you is that i have one cup. i can tell at least one person left who doesn't get it. [laughter] don't look it up. look, going out -- first of all, i have one cup in my apartment and i don't know why we have so many dishes now. but going out was only fun if
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it's on accident. when you get ready and go out, it's always a disappointment. everybody there is a disappointment, but if you're not supposed to be out, it can be fun because you're doing something you're not supposed to be doing. it's cheaper to stay at home, with the friends you already have, rather than make new friends in the bathroom that you never talk to again. >> greg: i don't know. jeff, i started drinking at home probably 12 years ago. whenever i left "redeye," because we were always going out drinking and i started drinking at home. and that's all i did was drink at home. i never went out. i developed a phobia. >> jeff: i think drinking at home is way better. i agree with the story. it's cheaper, like she said. there's no bathroom line, which i think you said. and also, you know how easy it is to get a girl bac back to yor house when you're already at your house? there's no last call. "you want to do the thing i was hoping we would do the whole
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time?" >> greg: which is what? >> jeff: sexual intercourse. that's the medical term. >> tyrus: we don't like big words around here. >> jeff: bang. >> tyrus: there you go. >> greg: erin, do you go to bars? >> erin: i do. >> greg: what's it like it? >> erin: it's great pride bartenders who are nice to me. this feels like a remnant of the covid era. they said this poll is between 21 and 26-year-old. these kids never got to go to bars or go to a bar before you're 21 and at least hang out and see. maybe they just don't know what it's like. go, say hi to the bartender. they are generally pretty nice. if you don't know what wine you like, you can ask them and they might give you a sip or a try or some beer if you don't know you like it. but in this poll it's like 48% of them drink to unwind and 48% of them drink for the sheer joy of it. okay, so your normal person.
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be a normal person and go to a bar. steelhead is it funny that he young person has to drink to unwind? what are you unwinding from? what kind of stresses do you have? >> tyrus: that would depend on who you're sitting across from when you're drinking, greg. >> greg: that's true. i've never seen you actually at a bar. >> tyrus: no. for a lot of reasons. i know your first thought is religion, but no. [laughter] the first reason is, one, i always end up working. somebody wants to know where the bathroom is. two, if there's a fight that breaks out, "are you going to do some thinking that" no, i'm on my wine break." i don't drink wine. i never have. don't like the smell of it, can't stand it. and wine drinkers are different animals. let's be honest. they want to talk and play records and sit outside with their shoes off.
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i'm a beer guy, and not to mention, you've got to go out, you've got to take her out so you can let yourself know that you are still making the best choice. you know what i'm saying? you got to -- oh, stop. grow up, man. you go out and do she will stay in the car like, "do you see those immature guys over there?" and you are like, yeah, i did. [laughter] >> greg: coming up, stories from local places that wil (♪) some people just know that the best rate for you is a rate based on you, with allstate. not one based on paul. you don't want to ride with paul. or sarah, not today anyway. and you don't want a rate based on ben, he's got some important business to take care of. why would you pay a rate based on anyone else?
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with allstate, you're connected to a rate based on you.
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>> coast-to-coast with stories that matter most. you are watching local news, with emmy-winning anchor kelly crystal kelly, replacing chet van jensen, who died. and now, here's kelly.
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[applause] >> kat: hi, i'm kelly crystal kelly and this is local news where every guest brings a story from where they're from. jeff, why don't you just go first? >> jeff: you want me to start? >> kat: let's get it off on an unhinged note. >> jeff: and pretty unhinged about this, actually. let's check out the story here. i just wanted everyone to see what's happening on my side of the country in my state. we've literally got flood warnings, my phone has been blowing up even while you're here. it's sad. at the l.a. river which normally isn't a river at all. it's just like a little concrete -- >> greg: causeway. >> jeff: you skateboard down there, it's a whole thing. this is what it's become. this man had to be helicopter rescue because he couldn't get out. the reason i'm showing you this is because all i ever hear about on netflix or from everything is about how hard we are on the environment and global warming. "humans are bad on the earth and on the ocean!" earth is hard on us!
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s the earth! forget about it! nobody ever talks about the hurricanes and the floods and earthquakes. every day this earth is taking people and i've had enough of this [bleep]! litter, empty or motor oil. i don't give a [bleep]. i'm done with it. >> kat: so your idea is to go offensive on the climate? [laughter] >> jeff: that shows that we are the apex predator! i want to eat dolphin sandwic sandwiches! i want cars that run on seals! [laughter] i say we start fighting back. >> kat: we'll workshop it. erin? >> erin: mine is not as aggressive as yours. she was right, nailed it. mine is about the shirtless individual here, jason kelce, who came to the buffalo bills kansas city chiefs playoff game and has now made that into a meme that he's put on a t-shirt and selling them for a local
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children's hospital in buffalo. it's a great back story. if you don't know about bill's mafia, it's a very giving sports community. the o'shea children's hospital in buffalo has the patricia allen son, named after -- ellen's good mother. he played a game in 2020 and was lights out and when bill's fans found out they started getting money to that fund on her behalf. they raised over $2 million. so this is going to be another great opportunity. i'm super excited that jason kelce is putting out this shirt to give more money back to the buffalo community, and the buffalo community does the same. when lamar jackson went out for a game for a concussion, bill's fans gave money to his foundation. when andy dalton broke our 17-year playoff drought by beating the baltimore ravens for us when he was insist that a bengals quarterback, we gave $400,000. i love this about bill's mafia. let's keep it up and give as much money as we can. [applause] >> jeff: can i get a
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translator for kat? >> kat: that was very different from jeff's. >> tyrus: anybody here want to line up for kickoff? great story. now, to bring it all down, the world is going to hell and a hand basket because we need grandparents, preferably bigger ones with sticks. there's a problem with kids coming out of school and invading and taking over the store. they build paper towel forts, they run into things, they steal the electric carts from the obese people, they are running amok, and even stealing in broad daylight. apparently they had a half day a couple weeks ago but it was a full day over there. they had about 150 kids just tearing up -- tearing it all up. pushing, bullying everybody, and nobody's doing anything. where are the big mamas? where the crossing guards? where are the people that beat me when i was a child and tried to steal things? >> kat: that's kind of
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brilliant, though. if you can't find a babysitter, just drop your kids off at the grocery store. >> tyrus: they are building forts out of paper towels. >> jeff: where the guys like you? >> tyrus: my kids would be there just report from 50 yards away. "father, i'm documenting and i will testify against everybody." because they know. they used to be people that dealt with the stuff, and this is a really sad sign that a gang of children can just stroll up in your place of business and take it over. the world is all bad. back to you. >> erin: no, it's not! >> kat: i want to give greg a turn because he's really excited. >> greg: it's very similar to jeff's. i'm also talking about the deadly atmospheric river storms that have been lingering over california. so far we have had 475 mudslides, 400 fallen trees. but get this, it was also deadly. three people were killed when wind toppled trees on sunday,
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killed people in sacramento, santa cruz, and sutter counties, according to authorities. but you know it? there's a silver lining to all this deadliness and suffering! geraldo rivera tweets, "gabrielle, the oldest of my five kids, at almost 10,000 feet elevation on top of mammoth mountain. they had 6 feet of new snow in the last five days. the conditions causing chaos down in the rest of southern california are a skier's blessing." so, silver lining, all you people dying in the mud! we had a great day skiing! [applause] >> kat: okay. >> tyrus: never over. >> kat: never. there's no second chances. las vegas grand prix choose t-mobile for business for 5g solutions. because t-mobile is helping power operations and experiences for hundreds of thousands of fans with reliable 5g connectivity. now's the time to accelerate your business.
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roll it. >> you invite people to a restaurant of your choosing for your birthday. you should pay for everybody. i know that's deeply unpopular. i don't think you can pick a restaurant and ask people to come, celebrate you, and pay for themselves. >> greg: it's so hard -- i have
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to lie on my pillow. it's really hard. alright. erin thinks the birthday boy or girl should pay for their own dinner with friends. what do you think? >> i don't think she's that wrong. if you invite people out. reverse, i assume i will invite everyone and you will pay for me. if you invite people you can split the bill. if you're an adult and having an adult party you can have a conversation without it being an issue. she makes it awkward. influencers do, they're weird people. >> greg: jeff, what adult throws a birthday party for themself. >> that's the strange part. i think the weirder thing with these influencers. they have all of this money,
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happy to flex with the expensive sun tphrass and the whole thing. then tip better and pay for stuff. if you flex on everyone about how much money you have, pay the damn bill. it's strange to be cheap and rub it in everyones face how you're doing. >> greg: alright. grams. >> you don't think . so rappers are like, bam, bam, bam. >> then the jeweler takes the jewel, and the car dealer takes the car. they can't afford stuff. influencer. you do an interview from your bed complaining about paying for your own dinner at a party. then you should, like they should pay for you. it's not easy doing all of this. and plus i'm not going to a party. once you're over 18 the candles
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cost more than the cake do. so, i'm not going. i don't celebrate birthdays. i give them to my kids. to be fare i should give it to my mom. she went through hell. she was 90 pounds and had a 10-pound 20-ounce baby. she didn't serve in the military, she served that day. >> greg: thank you for your service there. is a joke i almost made. i'm not, kat. kat, how are you not able to talk like that. >> kat: i don't know, right. >> greg: you talk more -- >> kat: more masculine. >> i think your vocal cords would explode if you tried. >> kat: no, i hate myself enough already. people get weird about money in general. figure it out. i will talk about this, my time to talk about this. i went to a friend's birthday dinner. i arrived later in the night. everyone had appetizers, dinner
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and drinks. i had a drink. the next day i went to the bar after i paid for the birthday person's drink and the birthday person's boyfriend drink. then i got a text can you srepb moe me for dinner. it's a hundred dollars a person. i did it, i texted my friend, i didn't eat why am i. yes a huge misunderstanding. not really because you kept th here's to getting better with age. here's to beating these two every thursday. help fuel today with boost high protein, complete nutrition you need... ...without the stuff you don't. so, here's to now. boost.
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marlo thomas: my father founded saint jude children's research hospital because he believed no child should die in the dawn of life. in 1984, a patient named stacy arrived, and it began her family's touching story that is still going on today. vicki: childhood cancer, it's just hard. stacey passed on christmas day of 1986. there is no pain like losing a child, but saint jude gave us more years to love on her each day.
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marlo thomas: you can join the battle to save lives. for just $19 a month, you'll help us continue the lifesaving research and treatment these kids need now and in the future. jessica: i remember as a child, walking the halls of saint jude, and watching my sister fight for her life. we never imagined that we would come back. and then my son charlie was diagnosed with ewing's sarcoma. vicki: i'm thinking, we already had a catastrophic disease in our family. not my grandson too. marlo thomas: st. jude has helped push the overall childhood cancer survival rate from 20% when it opened to 80% today. join with your credit or debit card for only $19 a month, and we'll send you this saint jude t-shirt that you can proudly wear to show your support. jessica: for anybody that would give, the money is going towards research, and you are the reason my child is here today. charlie: i was declared-- this will be two years cancer free.
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but there's thousands and thousands of kids who need help. saint jude, how many lives they do save is just so many. marlo thomas: charlie's progress warms my heart, but memories of little angels like stacy are why we need your help. please become a saint jude partner in hope right now. [music playing]
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[cheers and applause] >> greg: i love you, america next. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> hello everyone i am joey jones along with kennedy, alicia and joe. welcome to the big weck we can
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